So... tonight he accidentally texted me instead of the other woman. All the message said was, "Hey that was fun thanks! I made it to the fwy" but it was enough to confirm to me that he is seeing another (several other?) woman.
Even though I'd had my suspicions, and had confirmed them with a friend sighting, it still REALLY hurt. For so many reasons:
- He really is dating. I know he'd use another word for it, but that's what it is. Dating. Less than a month after our separation after EIGHT years and two children together.
- He really is a liar. He told me with a straight face on Thursday night that he wasn't going to see other women because he needed to focus on himself. It didn't sit right with me at the time, so I left. Now I know why.
- I think it's really, for sure, OVER. Friends and relatives (Mom) would have told me this a few weeks ago. But I'd always said if he cheated on me, it was over, and now apparently, blatantly, clearly and irrefutably, it's over.
I texted him tonight saying how painful this all is, and he again said he hasn't been cheating. It's amazing to me that his definition of cheating is so limited, so narrow. I know because of his Dad's infidelities that DH is very much opposed to the word, but I told him tonight that if he's been seeing other women, he's been cheating.
I just hope i haven't just given him the permission to go fuck them all, but in reality he probably didn't need it.
I just hate that it's Saturday night and I'm sitting home alone, watching his children, taking care of his animals, and he's out.
Is it bad that I wish he would just go away?
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