Graduation

It's that time of year, when we are inundated with messages for those who are making transitions in their lives. Namely, graduation. Every year I end up seeing snippets of some of the most humorous or profound speeches, and usually they have lots to do with following your dreams and never giving up, etc.

This year, I've seen two speeches, and they were both quite different. They were about what happens when you, God forbid, FAIL. What happens when life doesn't turn out exactly how you thought it would. These are pretty heavy thoughts for young, idealistic folks to digest, but so unbelievably relevant to where I am right now.

The first speech was given by 18-year-old Flora Morofsky, our long-time babysitter and one of the brightest, most wonderful young women I've ever met. She is just a good girl. If I had a daughter, I would hope, beg and pray that she turned out like Flora. Having said that, I hope she parties like a rock star at UCSB.

In her speech, she talked about that "defining moment" when she found out she had been denied at what she thought was her dream college. She talked about how she ultimately believes she will be attending a much better school, and though it was difficult for her to think about "Plan B," she now looks forward to it. I have a feeling she's right - her first school was very trade-focused, and I have a feeling her plans for her career may change in the next four years (I thought I wanted to be a Psychology major!).

She said our lives are defined by how we choose to respond to these "defining moments" - how we move forward when things don't go as planned.

The second speech was Conan O'Brian's speech to the Dartmouth Class of 2011. I watched on youtube after several recommendations on Facebook. Conan spoke very frankly about his "failure" as host of The Tonight Show. He said twelve years ago he'd told Harvard Grads "Don't fear failure," but now he takes it one step further - Failure will happen. It's all about what you do with it. It's ok for your dreams and your life to change, and often it provides the best opportunities that we would not have had if things had gone how we'd "planned."

A few Conan quotes that really hit home:

"There are few things more liberating in life than having your worst fear realized."

"It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us."

"Your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound reinvention."

The failure of my marriage is probably going to end up being (I hope) the biggest failure of my life. It's very fresh, very new, and so I'm not going to pretend that I'm doing great things with my new-found life. I'm grieving. This sucks. But I'm hoping that, as life is giving me the proverbial lemons, I can choose not to squeeze them onto my paper cuts, and instead make an absolutely phenomenal Lemon Drop.